Retro FPS

Q: Bertrand, with regards to inheritance in OOP, do you think its overuse is endemic in today’s rush-to-market, bugs-are-good software world?
(Reginald Bosanquet, Under A Motorway Bridge, Cleethorps, UK)

 

 

Bertrands Clever Response:

Reginald, as a famous (and quite dead) UK newsreader, racconteur and DIY lay-person with a remarkable toupe, you of all persons unnamed must be aware of the fact that inheritance, for all its dogged and wily bifringent texture, is part of todays paradigm for making computer languages and code readable to even the most lay of lay-persons (plumbers, refuse collectors and other assorted ingots of this ilk).

However, its mis-use is indeed and, if I may be so rampantly timid, widespread and bewilderingly zygote.

Have we not remembered that other methods, such as writing the same class over and over again, with only minor changes in each, is a perfectly acceptable alternative?

It produces much more bloated code, just as major computer manufacturers would bloat us with their free and trial software installed in new computers! In a word, bloat. Bloat.

In short, and in long, and in any or any specific case or dimension to which you belong, I say here, and for the record, that inheritance, though fiscally necessary amongst the upper-class, is sheer niche posturing and phallic amongst us developers.

The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts. I first made that line up when I was nine (years of age).

I hope that has not answered your question, Reginald, as I would like another opportunity to demean you by displaying my cleverness, undeniable illogic, aloof sneerfullness and generally superior grasp of interpersonal and logical dynamics to yourself and an admiring world.

LOLZ

Bertie.

Q: Bertrand, is the A* algorithm in AI really the best approach to achieving complex behavioral patterns in gaming?

(Rutger Hauer, Former Dictator Of Finland, In a floating car, Dutchville, NL)    

 

 

Bertrands Clever Response:

Rutger, I hope you are joking. There is nothing “AI” or artificial regarding my soaring, implacable, ethereal and other large words intelligence.

If you are referring to the arena regarding the abstract and virtual world of computer simulation, then I take no (well, marginal) offence, sir.

By your very name you should realize, since your people taught the savages of the Africans Afrikaans, that indeterminate bipolar behavioral systems, commonly referred to by clever people as “AI”, is a prerequisite to continuing and unabated erotic advancement within the field of simulated human (or otherwise) decision making.

To utter a mere syllable against this sacrosanct principle is to utter heresy and may lead to said persons decapitation by learned men of questionable breeding.

If the heuristic h satisfies the additional condition h(x) \le d(x,y) + h(y) for every edge (x, y) of the graph (where d denotes the length of that edge), then h is called monotone, or consistent. In such a case, A* can be implemented more efficiently—roughly speaking, no node needs to be processed more than once (see closed set below)—and A* is equivalent to running Dijkstra’s algorithm with the reduced cost d'(x, y) := d(x, y) – h(x) + h(y).

It is therefore necessary that this postulation be put forth before you in the clearest of terms, as I have just outlined.

By the way, the answer is yes.

ROFLCopter,

Bertie.

Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell, OM, FRS (18 May 1872 – 2 February 1970) was a British philosopher, logician, mathematician, historian, and social critic.

At various points in his life he considered himself a liberal, a socialist, and a pacifist, but he also admitted that he had never been any of these in any profound sense. He was born in Monmouthshire, into one of the most prominent aristocratic families in Britain.

Russell led the British “revolt against idealism” in the early 20th century. He is considered one of the founders of analytic philosophy along with his predecessor Gottlob Frege and his protégé Ludwig Wittgenstein. He is widely held to be one of the 20th century’s premier logicians.

Nowadays, he has spread his vast and unassuming intellect into the field of computer programming.

Pearls of molten gold ingots, in the form of omnipotent wisdom, spew forth from his oral cavity with such ease that, in the words of modern philosopher Wolf Blitzer, “make me want to assume the fetal position due to the shuddering awe of intonational overload”.

Within his blog posts we will journey through the ephemeral web of the living mind of programming at its most austere, its grandest pose, its optional biorhythms and its majestic peaks of tumultuousness.

I found myself reminding everyone around me about the value of hard work.

They didn’t give a shit.

I found myself reminding myself about the value of hard work.

Neither did I.

The lesson? It takes two to win “Dancing With The Stars”. It takes dedication to not give a shit.

Here endeth the lesson… an’ that.

“You make me feel like dancin'”

Leo Sayer, 1975… or something

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Did you ever notice that absolutely NOBODY, I mean, NOBODY, knows how to cartwheel correctly? Eh? WTF is that all about?

“C’mon an’ do the Conga”

Black Lace, sometime in the 80’s

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You know that feeling you get? Like when you dream about missing an exam, and you’ve forgot to put your clothes on?

I feel like that all the time… and there’s no medication for it (so I’m told… or else everyone likes to laugh at me…)

“We are the good-squad and we’re comin’ to town… PEEP PEEP!”

David Bowie, “Fashion”, 1981 (I think)

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Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when their ordinate is explaining a critical issue at work, and all you can think of is how their face looks in a sauna with Bertrand Russell’s pet chow?

That really pisses me off, just sometimes though.

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I picked up some fruit in the supermarket the other day, and I ate it, right there on the spot, honest.

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As my dad used to always say stuff.

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The difference between a duck is that both its legs are the same. Really think about that.

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Sometimes, like now, I get these panic-attacks and I think I’m gonna die, but I didn’t. Because I can’t type this if I’m dead.

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One day, about 25 years ago, My mother was throwing out some old furniture yesterday. Just to piss her off, I shouted “Mum, what does Eviction mean?”

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I don’t know if Bertrand Russel even owned a dog.

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Do you?

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I was asleep one night, then I woke up in the morning.

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I was finding it hard to get new dev ideas. So I stayed up all night. A cop saw me standing outside my house, he says “What’ya doin’, bud?”. I says ” Waitin’ for the cat to come in to put it out”.

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I was eating custard the other day and I thought of the Alamo

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You know when you’re cooking fried eggs, and they spit the damn oil at you? Thats shite, eh?

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Its really sore if it hits you on the cheek.

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There really should be less chicken-urine content in eggs, then they wouldn’t spit oil on me when I try to fry them.

Chickens know this and have formed a non-urine chicken coallition.

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To be a real part of the human race, you must know at LEAST two psychos… at LEAST. I know three (Including myself).

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… Guess thats what makes us human… Spock sucks…

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When the chips are down, the oil isn’t hot enough.

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I used to listen to my Dad reprimand dogs that shat in our garden. Why then, at age 4, and showing ultimate initiative, did I get the living shit kicked out of me when I told a dog that intruded into our garden to “FUCK OFF” ???

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I used to think that I was royalty, until my Mum explained that we were “Royally Fucked”

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Heavy concrete airplanes don’t fly at all. I know. I tried one. It was shite

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I took a trip to the countryside once. There wasn’t anything there. What for?

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I love my pet cats. And they reciprocate. Believe me. I found a reciprocation on my bed one night.

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My wife loves me for what I am. Fucking God help her.

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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be winning lottery numbers, two bags of lightly roasted turnips and free tickets to Morgan Freemans stand-up cartwheeling ensemble.

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