Ruminations
Whence Thence Hence Insane Inner Tube
by gdenyer on Sep.12, 2013, under Ruminations
I found myself reminding everyone around me about the value of hard work.
They didn’t give a shit.
I found myself reminding myself about the value of hard work.
Neither did I.
The lesson? It takes two to win “Dancing With The Stars”. It takes dedication to not give a shit.
Here endeth the lesson… an’ that.
“You make me feel like dancin'”
Leo Sayer, 1975… or something
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Did you ever notice that absolutely NOBODY, I mean, NOBODY, knows how to cartwheel correctly? Eh? WTF is that all about?
“C’mon an’ do the Conga”
Black Lace, sometime in the 80’s
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You know that feeling you get? Like when you dream about missing an exam, and you’ve forgot to put your clothes on?
I feel like that all the time… and there’s no medication for it (so I’m told… or else everyone likes to laugh at me…)
“We are the good-squad and we’re comin’ to town… PEEP PEEP!”
David Bowie, “Fashion”, 1981 (I think)
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Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when their ordinate is explaining a critical issue at work, and all you can think of is how their face looks in a sauna with Bertrand Russell’s pet chow?
That really pisses me off, just sometimes though.
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I picked up some fruit in the supermarket the other day, and I ate it, right there on the spot, honest.
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As my dad used to always say stuff.
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The difference between a duck is that both its legs are the same. Really think about that.
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Sometimes, like now, I get these panic-attacks and I think I’m gonna die, but I didn’t. Because I can’t type this if I’m dead.
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One day, about 25 years ago, My mother was throwing out some old furniture yesterday. Just to piss her off, I shouted “Mum, what does Eviction mean?”
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I don’t know if Bertrand Russel even owned a dog.
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Do you?
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I was asleep one night, then I woke up in the morning.
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I was finding it hard to get new dev ideas. So I stayed up all night. A cop saw me standing outside my house, he says “What’ya doin’, bud?”. I says ” Waitin’ for the cat to come in to put it out”.
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I was eating custard the other day and I thought of the Alamo
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You know when you’re cooking fried eggs, and they spit the damn oil at you? Thats shite, eh?
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Its really sore if it hits you on the cheek.
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There really should be less chicken-urine content in eggs, then they wouldn’t spit oil on me when I try to fry them.
Chickens know this and have formed a non-urine chicken coallition.
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To be a real part of the human race, you must know at LEAST two psychos… at LEAST. I know three (Including myself).
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… Guess thats what makes us human… Spock sucks…
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When the chips are down, the oil isn’t hot enough.
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I used to listen to my Dad reprimand dogs that shat in our garden. Why then, at age 4, and showing ultimate initiative, did I get the living shit kicked out of me when I told a dog that intruded into our garden to “FUCK OFF” ???
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I used to think that I was royalty, until my Mum explained that we were “Royally Fucked”
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Heavy concrete airplanes don’t fly at all. I know. I tried one. It was shite
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I took a trip to the countryside once. There wasn’t anything there. What for?
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I love my pet cats. And they reciprocate. Believe me. I found a reciprocation on my bed one night.
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My wife loves me for what I am. Fucking God help her.
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Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be winning lottery numbers, two bags of lightly roasted turnips and free tickets to Morgan Freemans stand-up cartwheeling ensemble.
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