Retro FPS

Ruminations

Whence Thence Hence Insane Inner Tube

by on Sep.12, 2013, under Ruminations

I found myself reminding everyone around me about the value of hard work.

They didn’t give a shit.

I found myself reminding myself about the value of hard work.

Neither did I.

The lesson? It takes two to win “Dancing With The Stars”. It takes dedication to not give a shit.

Here endeth the lesson… an’ that.

“You make me feel like dancin'”

leosayer1

I-a, like-a, do-a, cha-cha.

Leo Sayer, 1975… or something

—————————————————————–

Did you ever notice that absolutely NOBODY, I mean, NOBODY, knows how to cartwheel correctly? Eh? WTF is that all about?

“C’mon an’ do the Conga”

blacklace1

Ooohh…Ooohh…Ooohh

Black Lace, sometime in the 80’s

—————————————————————-

You know that feeling you get? Like when you dream about missing an exam, and you’ve forgot to put your clothes on?

I feel like that all the time… and there’s no medication for it (so I’m told… or else everyone likes to laugh at me…)

“We are the good-squad and we’re comin’ to town… PEEP PEEP!”

peeppeep1

mmm..Peep! Peep!

David Bowie, “Fashion”, 1981 (I think)

—————————————————————-

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when their ordinate is explaining a critical issue at work, and all you can think of is how their face looks in a sauna with Bertrand Russell’s pet chow?

That really pisses me off, just sometimes though.

—————————————————————-

I picked up some fruit in the supermarket the other day, and I ate it, right there on the spot, honest.

—————————————————————-

As my dad used to always say stuff.

—————————————————————-

The difference between a duck is that both its legs are the same. Really think about that.

Not Sure If Serious, but anyway... Peep! Peep!

Not Sure If Serious, but anyway… Peep! Peep!

—————————————————————-

Sometimes, like now, I get these panic-attacks and I think I’m gonna die, but I didn’t. Because I can’t type this if I’m dead.

—————————————————————-

One day, about 25 years ago, My mother was throwing out some old furniture yesterday. Just to piss her off, I shouted “Mum, what does Eviction mean?

—————————————————————-

I don’t know if Bertrand Russel even owned a dog.

bertrand

Ummm. Everything Is … Peep! Peep!

—————————————————————-

Do you?

—————————————————————-

I was asleep one night, then I woke up in the morning.

—————————————————————-

I was finding it hard to get new dev ideas. So I stayed up all night. A cop saw me standing outside my house, he says “What’ya doin’, bud?”. I says ” Waitin’ for the cat to come in to put it out”.

—————————————————————-

I was eating custard the other day and I thought of the Alamo

custer

Custard Is NOT Yeller!

—————————————————————-

You know when you’re cooking fried eggs, and they spit the damn oil at you? Thats shite, eh?

—————————————————————-

Its really sore if it hits you on the cheek.

—————————————————————-

There really should be less chicken-urine content in eggs, then they wouldn’t spit oil on me when I try to fry them.

Chickens know this and have formed a non-urine chicken coallition.

chicken

Ummm… Cluck! Cluck!

—————————————————————-

To be a real part of the human race, you must know at LEAST two psychos… at LEAST. I know three (Including myself).

norman

Mother…? Mother…? Peep! Peep!

—————————————————————-

… Guess thats what makes us human… Spock sucks…

spocky1

Peep! Pee… Illogical Inner Tube…

—————————————————————-

When the chips are down, the oil isn’t hot enough.

—————————————————————-

I used to listen to my Dad reprimand dogs that shat in our garden. Why then, at age 4, and showing ultimate initiative, did I get the living shit kicked out of me when I told a dog that intruded into our garden to “FUCK OFF” ???

—————————————————————-

I used to think that I was royalty, until my Mum explained that we were “Royally Fucked”

—————————————————————-

Heavy concrete airplanes don’t fly at all. I know. I tried one. It was shite

Out of the way... Peep! Peep!

Out of the way… Peep! Peep!

—————————————————————-

I took a trip to the countryside once. There wasn’t anything there. What for?

—————————————————————-

I love my pet cats. And they reciprocate. Believe me. I found a reciprocation on my bed one night.

—————————————————————-

My wife loves me for what I am. Fucking God help her.

—————————————————————-

Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be winning lottery numbers, two bags of lightly roasted turnips and free tickets to Morgan Freemans stand-up cartwheeling ensemble.

Mr. Dolye Says SO!

Mr. Dolye Says SO!

—————————————————————-

Comments Off on Whence Thence Hence Insane Inner Tube more...

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Blogroll

A few highly recommended websites...